Life is one big learning curve for lessons to grow and get to know ourselves to the core, we are not meant to hold ourselves back from success,happiness and self-contentment over pent up emotions of guilt, anger or resentment towards others or situations which we feel a lack of control over. We were not put on this Earth to punish ourselves.
Often we are the hardest on ourselves when in actual fact we really need to be our own protector and best friend. There is nothing that you can't change today. Each morning is a new beginning where you can wipe the slate clean.
The best way to start on self forgiveness is to accept that you are "great and worthy" just the way you are. It's only natural to feel an array of emotions but it's crucial to your well-being to observe just how you deal with them.
Step 1. Acceptance- just because you acted a particular way doesn't define who you are as a person. Write down a list of your internal dialogue when a situation arises that makes you become hard on yourself. You will find that your much harder than you think on yourself.Me personally, I used to internalise my feelings to begin with and stewed on it before speaking in my personal life.
This was a hard one to change. But then the positives came into play; such as looking at just how you can change what you say to yourself and express your needs to the other party. This is helpful if you take the approach of learning to change aspects of yourself which no longer serve you. It becomes much easier than you think.
Step 2. You no longer have to live with the past. You ARE free from it, you've lived it,loved parts of it and as everyone does with time have changed certain aspects. So why not delete old patterns which no longer apply to your decision making process?. Your strong and independent now. You've got this. You have a future to look forward to, constantly comparing yourself to the past won't get you to where you need to be. Don't be afraid to try new methods. You'll surprise yourself along the way.
Step 3. Set goals: write down small achievable goals that you feel will help you relax more each day. The whole idea is to shift any negative mindset to a positive one. Let anything for today go that you don't have to deal with. Instead put happy and positive affirmations about yourself in your mind as often as you can. If you do this for two weeks you will start to believe it all and then watch your happiness soar.
Step 4. If you feel something major is still holding you back try to identify any triggers in your current life that brings up these feelings for you. Once you acknowledge where they come from then you can look at them gently and openly to see what minimal response do you need to do to change this?. You've moved on with your life now and nothing stays the same, those people who have offended you have changed too so why should you pay the price?.
Ascertain two options on how to clear these triggers from your life for next time they arise, take three deep breaths and step into the sunlight knowing your on a positive path to self-happiness.