Assertiveness is the key to improving on your own self-worth and learning to love yourself more. Often people mistake being assertive for coming across as mean, aggressive or selfish. In actual fact this could not be further from the truth at hand.
Often our behaviours teach people how to treat us. It is essential in life to create balance between relationships regardless weather they are work based, personal or challenging with family members. When we truly mirror how we feel about a situation and honour our own feelings of self-care, nurturing and love then happiness follows because we are being truly authentic to who we are deep down as a person.
The first step is to acknowledge that "you can not change any one else to become what you feel they need to be". This often is a bitter pill to swallow especially if you are highly emotionally involved in a toxic relationship.
You need to be the role model for what you want to be treated like by anyone who you care about in your life. Your self-worth is based on how you personally feel about who you are, no one else has the right to sum this up for you. When the negative thought patterns pop into your mind its best to stop, clear them, cancel any future stinking thinking and delete. You are wiping the slate clean and striving to move towards a life that makes you happier than ever.
Always speak your truth to yourself, be gentle, focus on your strengths and accomplishments without looking back on someone else's opinion on it. At the end of the day we are all down here to develop our selves which is why every single person has their own thumb print different to others unless they are identical twins.
So the solution to finding that inner calmness is to work on:
1. Don't give your power away. You are entitled to express your own needs and have the right to be heard.
2. Take care of yourself in a positive way. Notice any negative re-occurring patterns which have stemmed from childhood or broken relationships which you felt betrayed or hurt?. You are an adult now and you can review these patterns honestly, objectively and change anything that you desire. It all starts with you.
3. Each day write down in a jar three things that you are grateful for. When you face challenging times choose as many as you like and your own words will re-enforce just how far you have come emotionally. Also by being more positive you can achieve your dreams. No one is allowed to hold you back ever again.
4. When a particular person triggers an immediate reaction or negative response within. Take a few deep breaths, remove yourself from this situation even if you duck to the bathroom or go outside for some fresh air. Think before you say anything.
Then when you are feeling more in control of your feelings avoiding hurt, fear or worthiness ask yourself this "Is that person projecting their own stuff onto me or do they have a hidden agenda?" often you will find the source is about them not you. If part of it is to assist you then you have the ability to look at what they are saying and decide if you want to work on that aspect of yourself or not. You are in control of your life and the only person at the end of the day that you have to please is yourself.
5. As long as you speak the truth on how you feel when you feel it is appropriate and comfortable enough then no matter what you are being true to who you are. You are living an authentic life that is yours.
6. By talking about how you are feeling then you are teaching others more about you and how you expect to be treated. You will find some may use guilt or manipulation at first to try to turn things around to work in their favour. But the best thing that you can do is be strong, calm and not follow into the drama. When you feel more confident in who you are, notice that others have changed for the better if they don't and are too toxic you would have already developed a strategy on how to deal with them in your life if at all. So at the end of the day you are happier and know that there is not one thing in life that you can not get through.
7. Also its important that we do not hold ourselves up to unrealistic standards but rather take one day at a time. Dare to dream, remove fear based emotions out of the equation and watch that career, family and wonderful partner come into your life as if by magic. But most important of all you have become your own best friend through the process.
8. By looking for triggers in other peoples behaviour you don't have to engage to their level that they are used to. You simply can say no or let them know that you are not comfortable answering such questions. By being truthful to yourself then you will feel at ease with being who you are and dare to follow your heart. You will allow your intuition to open up further and the positives will follow into your life.
When you are assertive it is simply placing boundaries in a harmonious way that you get your needs across and acknowledge to yourself that your opinion, wants and needs are on an even kiel and that you matter too.
Tonight the moon is all about manifesting change within to become who we truly are and want to be. The Universe is asking you to follow your heart and dreams!